(I wrote this post on Halloween but accidentally saved instead of posting. Oops! what a nimrod. I thought I'd post it now. Jess Haskell told me that I should get into the habit of posting every Tuesday. I'm flattered that Haskell wants me to post stuff so I'm going to start being more regular about it. I'd like her to also be more regular about posting on her blog as well. But you know, you can shit in one hand and pee in the other, or wait, what is it again? Shit in one hand and then what the hell can you do in the other one? Anywho, I thought I wouldn't waste the time I spent saving the photos below and go ahead and post this Halloween malarkey. Better late than never.)
I forgot it was Halloween until I was on my way to work and I saw a clown walking down the street. A clown, you guys! I initially thought to myself "Damn! Those goth kids are really taking it too far now! I hereby declare that all clown paraphernalia is to be seized and citations issued to any albino freak who mentions the word." Thank goodness I realized it was Halloween and that the clown suit was not some new dorkismajorkis emo trend in time to not run over the poor bastard. It could have been anyone taking advantage of the holiday. Looking back though, I still should have probably dowsed numbnard the clown in red paint or urine in manner of PETA just to limit the amount of clown ensemblage in our city. Don’t think I don’t carry paint and urine around in my car either. I totally do.
The only person I know who hates clowns more than I do is my friend Ahren Lee Castledine. They seriously make her poo a little. I think if she had a choice between ridding the world of al qadea or clowns she'd pick clowns. She is also afraid of eyeballs and scabs. Anyway, clearly she is a total weirdo, and in the spirit of the season and of making your friends poo, here's some stuff that scares.....
Scabs! Apart from them being diseasey, I personally really like scabs. I like to pick them and examine them in detail before flicking them off into the carpet.
Clowns! Clowns are so fucked you guys! 
Tropical disease- Who isn't afraid of tropical disease....spooky!
This guy. Who the hell is this guy?! All I know is he's scary as hell.
Bad seeds.
Botulism. Botulism is scary as hell you guys. Any food borne neurotoxin that can paralyze a grown person within minutes of being ingested deserves some respect.
1 comment:
Whenever I hear that song (I have it on my ipod), I always think of how you would walk past my old office and scare me by saying that.
I'mn with your friend. Clowns are terrifying!
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