And Nino arrives...

Well, most of you know already that Nino arrived Wednesday January 15 at 9:23 AM. I had plans to write a blog posting about it in a timely fashion, but parenthood has spun my head a bit these last few days. I mean seriously spun my head. I am in love. I'm so smitten crazy in love you guys. I'm lost in this kid's eyes about every second they're open, and when they aren't I'm basking in the sound of his tiny breaths and blaring screaming rage. Francis and I could not be prouder of our son, Stacey Francis Byrd. He is miraculous. Needless to say, I've been a bit preoccupied. I'm sorry for the blog delay.



As you know, I began referring to the arrival of the Baby Byrd as "Splatterdome" as I thought that would be fitting considering the fact that child birth has been known to get messy. Well while the labor was probably pretty splatteriffic, the real splatterdome 2009 didn't happen until we got home with the little one. We brought him inside and took him out of his car seat. Fran went back out to the car to get the rest of the gifts and things we'd gathered during our stay at the hospital. I was left alone in our apartment with our baby. I looked down at his sleeping face and suddenly my mind was flooded with memories of my pregnancy. I thought of the pee test and the pasta salad. I remembered telling my Franny that he'd be a dad and him telling me that he was a cocksman and thrilled at the idea. I thought of the first time I heard Nino's little heart beating so fast inside me. I remembered the first time I felt him move as I sat at work one evening so many months before. I remembered the nights I lied awake terrified of the world I was bringing a child into. I saw the Krispie Kreme doughnuts and puke and puke eye. The ultrasounds replayed in my mind like a movie montage and it finally occurred to me...I'm a mommy. I looked down at my little boy and I sobbed like only a mommy could. I was overwhelmed with emotion. I hadn't had time to cry in the hospital. I was too busy learning to feed and care for my baby. I was too busy with visitors and nurses to feel anything but relief at his safe arrival. Once home, with my son, I truly felt like his mom. This was one of the most wonderful moments in my life.
And here he is....my son!

Stacey Francis Byrd

8 lb. 3 oz.

20 inches long

Mom's bragging rights:

I came out of pregnancy virtually unscathed. I didn't get one stretch mark ya'll---not a single one. I was in labor for 9 hours and I gave birth without the use of a single pain medication. Not an epidural. Not a narcotic. Nothing. The only way I accomplished this was by having my Franny there with me and the down right amazing nurses at Salt Lake Regional Medical Center. Also the pain was so bad I couldn't talk. That probably contributed since I couldn't even frame the words "epidural please." I'm going to boast that I predicted the gender of my child as well. Of the approximate 287 days of my pregnancy I only spent about 4 of them thinking Nino was a girl. The rest of the time He was a He. It's safe to say I called that one as well. Oh and in case you were wondering---I DIDN"T POO! I would have shit the moon to get that baby out, but didn't have to.
Well there you have it. Kudos to me.

Me and some of my lovliest friends went to Cafe Trio last night so that I could nom that pizza that has been known to put people into labor. I don't know if you've heard about it, but apparently it has been known to work for a bunch of pregnants. We thought it would be worth a try. The sucker had chicken on it. I hate chicken. I mean I can eat it sometimes, like if it is in mcnugget form or shredded and made to taste like something else---anything else. But this pizza had a ton of dry, grainy chicken on it and it tasted like someone had marinated it in extra essence of poultry which is the scent that most lady chickens prefer to douche with. The other ingredients were tolerable---onions, garlic, fontina (I think) and crust. It was not tasty but I ate almost the entire thing simply in the name of science.

I've been waiting to go into labor ever since but it has been close to the 24 hours in which the pizza is supposed to get things going. Oh well. It was wonderful having dinner with everyone. My friend Dean also got the pizza. We decided that if he went into labor after eating it, we could determine with every ounce of certainty, that the pizza does in fact induce labor. I'm guessing it's safe to bet that he birthed a giant chicken-filled garlicy turd. Dean-1/Lindsey-0

I can't explain why the baby byrd is taking so long, but I'm still tying up loose ends in the hopes that perhaps I'm vag retentive and somehow my subconscious mind is telling my uterus that the baby should stay put until for instance, I finally get all of my "thank you" cards from the baby shower 3 months ago sent out. Or maybe I need to rewash all of Nino's clothes in Dreft. Perhaps I just need to get a pedicure. I don't know. Sheesh. Well if I don't have this kid by Wednesday I'm getting induced. I'm thinking I'd like to avoid that at all costs but the placenta is wearing out.

Here is the supposed science behind that:
Something like 90% of the amniotic fluid is Nino pee. If the amniotic fluid level starts to decrease it means that Nino is not peeing enough, which means that his kidneys aren't making pee which leaves one to hypothesize that baby isn't getting enough nutrients to create enough waste to create pee. The heart and brain continue to get enough from the placenta because that is nature's way of not killing stuff. I don't know what to believe. Do I just get induced and force the little one to be born, or do I wait it out and risk Nino not swimming enough pee for too long???

We have a stubborn little stink on our hands I think. Great.

Okay, Nino---Now would be good.

As you know, Fran and I have been anxiously awaiting Birth Extravaganza 2009---WELCOME TO SPLATTER DOME!!! Franny might even be a little more excited than I am actually. I woke up Saturday morning to find him nesting. Is it called "nesting" when the baby daddy is the one bustling around preparing for the baby??? He normally sleeps later than I do because of his crazy work schedule so when I woke up to him packing up random schneidel to take to the storage unit, I became motivated myself. I also thought him especially adorable. GO TEAM BYRD!

The official due date is tomorrow! No sign of labor yet other than the whole centimeter and a half that I am dilated. Yar! The baby Byrd is taking her sweet time (Yep-her. I'm positive we having a girl---- today.)

We've been doing a lot of talking to the belly to try to coax the offspring out. Fran sometimes even takes on this semi-gruff voice and says "This is your dad. Come out of there this instant!" It hasn't worked so far, which might mean that our parenting skills are already lacking.
I've been enjoying the fun text messages and phone calls from everyone who is excited to meet our little one. We really do have such wonderful friends and family and I can't wait for this kid to meet ya'll.
Here is a picture my friend Joshi made...

Thanks Joshi! This is hilarious. It has become my visual mantra.