I finally got some real prenatal care yesterday, ya’ll! As you may have read in past blog posts, Dr. James T. Roth at Old Farm Obstetrics, is a great big pile of moron. Fran and I liked him initially, but once we left the first appointment, we realized he hadn’t given us much information at all (see “Dr. Rothtard”). I decided to give him one more chance at the follow-up appointment thinking that perhaps he’d just been extra busy or on his period the first time. I also planned to be more inquisitive. Big mistake! Five minutes into the second appointment I realized that he is completely inept.

Not only does he have the communication skills of a 6 year old, but he is condescending, pervy, and exceedingly negligent. I can’t believe he continues to work as a physician.

James T. Roth on a typical day at the office.

I don’t think any of you guys who read my blog are pregnant, but if you know anyone who is or plans to be, and they utter the name “Roth,” please please please tell them he is a fucktard. I am in the process of writing a letter to inform him that he should take an early retirement and work part time as a sign holder for Little Caesars. If you guys have any input, or perhaps experience in drafting hate mail, please give me suggestions.


Yesterday, I saw a real doctor. I went to the Avenues Women’s Center and saw Dr. Vicky Macy and her N.P. Kathy (or something). They were super informative and fantastic. I didn’t get creepy vibes either, as they are ladies. They gave me something for my nausea so I can start packing on the pounds like a good little pregnant girl.

Every time I told the Rothtard about the sickness and the fact that I wasn’t stomaching much healthy stuff, he’d say “that will go away. Whatever you’re eating is just fine.”--- FUCKTARD!!!! I was eating as healthfully as I possibly could but I’d often yak if I ate anything protein-rich or vegeriferous. I resorted to eating a lot of Ramen. (I’m pretty sure pregnant folks need protein and veggies...not Ramen.) Anyway,Vicky and the NP told me I am a bit underweight and that since the nausea hasn’t resolved, (see “Things that Make you go…”) I need to take an anti-emetic and eat like 7 buffalo and a tree.

I heard the Teeny Tine's heart beating for the third time yesterday as well. It sounds like a little kid making ray gun sounds... Pkew! Pkew! Pkew! Pkew! Pkew! 150 times a minute. It's my favorite sound these days. It's funny because they always say "do you want to hear your baby's heart?" "Uuhhh Dur. No I think I'll pass." Although I haven't felt him moving, I can tell Nino already has brute strength. I'm kind of worried he might karate chop his way out of me through my belly button.

So long story short, I am much happier with my new doc, and I am looking forward to Thursday since I’ll get to see Nino again. I have another ultrasound and I’m psyched. We love ultrasounds. There is a very slim chance he’ll be flashing his newly formed junk at us as well, but I doubt we'll find out the sex.