What I lack in political savvy I make up for by saying "pubes"...



Just finished my daily lunchtime news perusal. I gotta stop reading that shiz you guys. It makes me nuts. Reading the news before Nino wasn’t nearly as disastrous to my mental health since I always figured I just had myself to take care of. You know, like if the end of the world came, I’d find a good view of the chaos on a mountain top somewhere with my favorite people and bid the planet farewell over Tequila. Now we’ll have the little one to worry about. Not only will we worry about his day to day life, but his future. We’ll have to teach him to care but stay joyful; to work toward change, but live well; to respect the planet the people and creatures, but refrain from becoming a stinky goalless hippie who follows jam-bands around the country trading Bob Marley tapestries for pot. This basically means that I’ll need to learn these lessons myself in the next 6 months to prepare for his birth.


Wish me luck.


Seriously though. I’m scared you guys. What is the world coming to, really? Did you hear about what George W. Douche did the other day? Well among about a billion other unsavory things, the genius concluded a meeting with other world leaders regarding pollution control and climate change by saying “goodbye, from the world’s biggest polluter.” Then he chuckled (“har har har dur dur dur dur”) at his joke and went about his day. He isn’t concerned about the health of the planet or that of the American people (duh) because he is pretty much counting on Jesus returning to Earth in a few years to save the super wealthy Texan Christians so they can keep being all prayerful and doing other Texasy crap while everyone else in the meantime will be sent straight to Hell for being poor. I’m not super religious or anything, but I’m guessing when Jesus does return, he’ll slit Bush’s throat with a spoon, force-feed him pubes, then kick him in the balls--hard. He didn’t have the pollution facts right anyway. China pollutes the planet way more than we do these days. Don’t pat yourselves on the back just yet though. China’s gotten worse but we haven’t improved in the slightest.


So long story short, I’m a little more nervous about the state of the planet then ever before and it's probably because of the Nino's pending birth. The president of the United States should be pretending things are improving and lying through his teeth about a plan, but instead he is blatantly joking about how nothing has changed or ever will. I’m hoping Nino is a Tequila person.