What are you doing here, Self? I thought I told you to stay in the car.

One of the best things about being pregnant is the dreams. I know that most people assume their own dreams are the most bizarre and incredible dreams in existence, when in actuality, dreams are only interesting to the person dreaming them. I realize this is also true for pregnancy dreams no matter how strange they are, but I had a little ditty last night that has been creeping me out all day. I promise that this is the first, last, and only dream I'll ever write about.

So from what I remember, I’m hanging out on a deck with a bunch of people. It’s the middle of winter. The sky is black and filled with stars. I don’t actually recognize anyone’s face, but I know the people well. The faces are very generic and plain. They all look the same but with huge grins. We are laughing super hard, and the steam from our mouths forms one big cloud. I’m super drunk--three sheets to the wind retarded, in fact. I slur my speech and my vision blurs. I finally say “does anyone have Tequila?!!” Everyone laughs and says “No. Try this Jagermeister.” Anyway, I say “Sweet! Jagermeister is Tequila’s identical cousin!”

Someone passes me the bottle and I start to chug. The laughing stops suddenly. I look around frantically and see no one. I have the feeling someone is watching me though. I sense a presence in the dark and it freaks me out. I feel icy chills along my back and I fall backwards off of the deck into a mound of snow. I land on my feet and the snow comes up way past my face. I lift my arms in “V” shape and look up at the starry sky. The stars disappear and it turns to day. I start tunneling around, all the while holding a black cordless phone. The person on the phone says “This is a scene in your life that I’m glad I don’t have to watch.” I have no clue who the voice belongs to, but it sounds like my own. I drop the phone and continue on. I can hear my feet crunching on the snow. Finally, I roll out of the thick white and onto the clear pavement laughing hysterically. (My snow swim had cheered me up.) I realize I still have the creepy feeling that someone is there with me and I stop laughing. The sky turns black again and the stars reappear. I look up at the deck and see a lady with long hair and a white bathrobe starring down at me. I don’t recognize her, but she is familiar.

I walk up the stairs toward her slowly. I try to figure out who she is, knowing that I’m in deep shit. As I walk, her face morphs eerily from one face to another. Each face melts and forms a new face. Some of them might have been people I know. As I get closer, her face clears and decides on a configuration. She finally smiles serenely and I realize she is me! I’m standing there looking at myself. And myself is starring back at me---right into my eyes. I can see our breath again. I say “what are you doing here?” She says “it’s time to come inside now.” We stand staring at each other in the middle of the cold black for a while. She turns around and walks through a doorway and motions for me to follow. I walk through the doorway and then wake up.


It doesn’t take a shrink to see what this dream is all about. Clearly I’m telling myself that playtime is over. The mom in me is putting the kid in me to bed. The bright side however is that the mom in me isn’t stabbing the kid in me to death (at least not in this dream). I’m guessing the kid in me will live on but the mom in me will be in charge. Either that, or I just miss getting drunk and falling off of stuff.