I'm not one of those girls who picks up the babies all over the place. It's not that I don't like the babies but I just can't hold them. When I say babies, I'm talking about the teeny teeny teenies. I'm talking about the ones that are so small and raisiny they could fit into a Kleenex box. They scare the bajezus out of me. Whenever I'm at a family gathering and there is a new peanut to behold I run for the hills because I'm afraid I'll be expected to hold it and then if I decline the invitation, everyone will find out I'm the freak of nature who doesn't like to hold babies. Once the kiddo's are 8 or 9 months old and they get all fat and jolly, they're so cute I could chew their little heads off. I have no problem with infants when they are a little less fragile. Otherwise I've been known to use the following excuses when asked if I want to hold the baby:

"Oh, I'd love to, but his skin could still rub clean off. I mean I'm just not comfortable with that liability."

"Oh, I'd love to, but just as I sometimes pee accidentally when I sneeze, I tend to crush baby bones as well. I feel a sneeze coming on, soooo....."

"Uhhh, nah. Babies smell fear, and fear tends to make them poo, so nooo. I'm just saving us all from a gigantic poo mess. Thanks though."

Naturally, I'm a little concerned about this whole "being maternal" thing. All of my wonderful friends and my baby daddy say that I'll take to motherhood like a fish to water; that with a little practice I'll get it down pat. I'm crossing my fingers of course but in the meantime thank goodness Franny is extra maternal. He is going to be an amazing dad. Kids just gravitate toward him. Seriously, he looks like a scary hippie RoboCop, but kids just love him. He'll just be walking down the street and hear "UNCOO FWANCIS!!!!" and then tons of poopers are stuck to him like little magnets to a giant refrigerator. I'm depending on him to do the holding, and the cuddling and the breastfeeding until I am positive I won't accidentally kill Nino. I'll change diapers. I'm not squeamish.