Me and some of my lovliest friends went to Cafe Trio last night so that I could nom that pizza that has been known to put people into labor. I don't know if you've heard about it, but apparently it has been known to work for a bunch of pregnants. We thought it would be worth a try. The sucker had chicken on it. I hate chicken. I mean I can eat it sometimes, like if it is in mcnugget form or shredded and made to taste like something else---anything else. But this pizza had a ton of dry, grainy chicken on it and it tasted like someone had marinated it in extra essence of poultry which is the scent that most lady chickens prefer to douche with. The other ingredients were tolerable---onions, garlic, fontina (I think) and crust. It was not tasty but I ate almost the entire thing simply in the name of science.

I've been waiting to go into labor ever since but it has been close to the 24 hours in which the pizza is supposed to get things going. Oh well. It was wonderful having dinner with everyone. My friend Dean also got the pizza. We decided that if he went into labor after eating it, we could determine with every ounce of certainty, that the pizza does in fact induce labor. I'm guessing it's safe to bet that he birthed a giant chicken-filled garlicy turd. Dean-1/Lindsey-0

I can't explain why the baby byrd is taking so long, but I'm still tying up loose ends in the hopes that perhaps I'm vag retentive and somehow my subconscious mind is telling my uterus that the baby should stay put until for instance, I finally get all of my "thank you" cards from the baby shower 3 months ago sent out. Or maybe I need to rewash all of Nino's clothes in Dreft. Perhaps I just need to get a pedicure. I don't know. Sheesh. Well if I don't have this kid by Wednesday I'm getting induced. I'm thinking I'd like to avoid that at all costs but the placenta is wearing out.

Here is the supposed science behind that:
Something like 90% of the amniotic fluid is Nino pee. If the amniotic fluid level starts to decrease it means that Nino is not peeing enough, which means that his kidneys aren't making pee which leaves one to hypothesize that baby isn't getting enough nutrients to create enough waste to create pee. The heart and brain continue to get enough from the placenta because that is nature's way of not killing stuff. I don't know what to believe. Do I just get induced and force the little one to be born, or do I wait it out and risk Nino not swimming enough pee for too long???

We have a stubborn little stink on our hands I think. Great.